Although most people think they are happy with their relationships, they may not know whether their spouse or family is happy. While happiness is different for everyone, you can work with your spouse to raise a happy family by using these tips.
How to be a Happy Couple
Every sturdy structure, including a family, needs a solid foundation. In most families, that means the couple at the center of the family should have a good relationship. As they have children, they provide a good example of how to get along, be loving towards each other, and communicate effectively with each other. There are many indications that a couple is happy.
Most people, especially couples, are happy in their relationships when they have realistic expectations about what their lives as a couple is like. If you expect that it will always be as romantic and you will always be as infatuated with your partner as when you first met, you’re going to be disappointed.
Every couple has disagreements, that is normal. If both people in the relationship are realistic and knows there will be things that irritate each other or that they can have disagreements without ending their relationship, they can develop a deeper, loving connection.
Works on Relationship
Anything that you want to be successful at needs to be developed by hard work, including relationships. The best way to strengthen relationships is by not avoiding conflict. Instead, immediately address any misunderstandings or problems there are in the relationship to resolve them.
Addressing problems isn’t fun, but if you can talk to each other respectfully, then you can get to the root of the problem and help resolve it. Allowing problems to fester or ignoring your relationship can cause discontentment and lead to its destruction.
Spends Time Together and Apart
A good way to develop a strong relationship is to spend time together. Happy couples get away from all distractions so they can spend quality time together. Some couples schedule a date night every week to ensure they get time alone to be together by going out to dinner, taking in a movie, or they take part in an activity they both enjoy.
However, it is also important to have separate interests and maintain friendships they had before getting together. Having separate activities helps to build trust, which is extremely important in a successful relationship.
Is Honest with Each Other
Another way happy couples build trust is by being honest with each other. Always tell your partner the truth, even if the truth hurts. If you are mad at your spouse, let them know in a calm matter and discuss it with them if they don’t know why. Don’t be dishonest to save their feelings because that can lead to other lies and promote distrust.
By being truthful, you are showing your partner respect and how much you value the relationship. Also, don’t take for granted that your spouse will always be by your side. Ignoring them will lead to discontentment, so always let them know they are appreciated. Show and tell them you love them as frequently as possible.
Being able to communicate with each other in a calm, respectful manner is essential for being a happy couple and creating a happy family. Yelling, screaming, talking over each other, or name calling is not only disrespectful, but it can lead to hurt feelings and to say things you cannot take back.
Effective communication not only involves what you say and how it’s said, but it involves listening to each other as well. By actively listening to your partner instead of thinking about your response, you will be able to understand any underlying problem behind your disagreements better. It will also teach your children how to communicate with each other and their peers.
How to Create a Happy Family
If the foundation of the family is on solid footing, then the family can be as well. However, like with your partner, the relationship within the family requires work, love, and respect. There are many things you can do to raise a happy family.
Share Family History
Children are always curious about their background. It starts when they are small and want to know how babies are made and continue as they learn about the world around them and want to know more about their ethnicity. By sharing your family history, you can tell your kids about how their family survived both good and bad times together.
When children know more about their family history, they often face challenges better than their peers. However, it isn’t just the knowledge of the history that provides this benefit, but it is participating in family traditions during the holidays and gaining knowledge about their families during dinner or by meeting other family members on vacation.
Most of these activities are usually done by happy, cohesive families, so it can help them develop a sense of self. Children also learn that they are a part of something bigger than themselves. Some of the other benefits of learning their family history include:
- Higher self-esteem
- Fewer issues with behavior
- Lower anxiety levels
- Better family functioning
Breaking bread together allows families to relax and share their day with each other. Try to reduce distractions by leaving the TV off and enforcing a new phone zone at the table. There are several benefits for the family, including kids who are better adjusted.
A study done at Columbia University involving 2,000 children found that youngsters who usually dine with the families were 31% less likely as teenagers to:
- Do drugs
- Get Pregnant
- Commit Suicide
With extracurricular activities, it can be difficult for families to share dinner together, but sharing breakfast in the mornings is just as effective. Start the habit when they are young and keep sharing at least one meal a day as a family.
Find Ways to Reduce Stress
In a survey of what kids want for their parents, most children wanted them to get more rest and be less stressed. The survey was done by the Families and Work Institute and was done with 1,000 families. Not only does stress affect the health of the parent(s) who is tired and stressed, but it affects their children’s health too.
Studies have found that kids with stressed parents can be born with weaker brains and have depleted immune systems. They also have increased risks of:
- Tooth decay
- Mental illness
So, by practicing stress reduction techniques, like practicing yoga, meditating, or exercising, you can learn Zen, the art of a happy family.
Include Kids in Decisions
When you need to make plans involving your children, such as where to send them to summer camp, include them in the decision making. It helps them do better in life when they participate in decisions like picking their punishments when they disobey rules. It can provide them with more incentive to not break them again.
A study from the University of California found that children developed their prefrontal cortex and other areas of their brain by planning their time, evaluating their school work, and setting and achieving weekly goals. These skills also help them develop self-discipline, avoid distractions, and gives them the ability to weigh pros and cons.
Whether it is spontaneous play or a set family game night, parents and children create memories and strengthen their bonds while playing. A 25-year study by a professor of human development at the University of Alabama kept track of 14,000 families around the country and found that happy families spent time together playing card and board games.
You can start a family game night tradition when your kids are small by playing age-appropriate games like Candyland or putting puzzles together. Doing chores together can also help a family build stronger bonds and give kids a sense of achievement. It also helps get the chores done faster.
Connect with the Community
When the family is part of an organization like a church, it helps to create Zen and the art of happiness. It isn’t so much worshipping God together, but the friends people make within a community of like-minded people. Multiple studies have shown that if a person or family has at least 10 friends within a community, they are happier people.
Also, it helps the family focus on blessings and thanksgiving, so when something good happens in their lives, kids learn how to show gratitude for their blessings. Plus, they can learn more about others when people share their concerns.
There are many other ways that families bond that can make them happier, such as sharing jokes and laughing together and hugging each other. Giving and receiving hugs helps build stronger connections and nurtures them. So, don’t be afraid to show affection to your family as it creates strong bonds.
By following these tips, you can build a strong family from the foundation up. First, the parents learn to be happy together so they can create a happy family when they start having children.